Life in Park Slope

So far, I don't know very much about NY except that it is so incredibly yuppie. From the ban on large sodas, to the forced recycling, to the all organic everything, everywhere. Even the cats are on an all-organic diet here (and probably if you asked for Friskies at a pet store, instead of "EVO" or "Nature's Choice" they'd balk at you in horror). There are housing projects in WILLIAMSBURG, which I assume are decorated with only the essentials from Urban Outfitters. Everyone does yoga constantly. Everybody hates McDonalds. Everyone buys all natural basil-scented dish soap.

I'm just going to say it: it bothers me a little. I miss the apathy of Los Angeles. As much as I like artisanal sea-salt caramels and exorbitantly expensive cheese shops, there's something a little more honest about buying beans in bulk, driving on smoggy freeways, and the friendly neighborhood bum.

Rather than describing in words, I will describe in groceries:

Looking for regular, $1 iodized salt? Sorry, we don't have that here. But you can take your pick from 11 different kinds of imported, flavored sea salts, or just stock up on the essentials: pink Himalayan rock salt. 

A bottle of mountain-dew colored juice, smaller than a water bottle, $10.49. For those times when you need strength and nourishment before a yoga class. Namaste. 

Getting ready to bake some cookies? Better stock up on Light Muscovado sugar - wastefully shipped in from Mauritius. Just to remind you, Mauritius is the little red dot ON THE OTHER SIDE OF AFRICA:

Now you can eat your cookies with a side of global warming. But on the bright side, the plastic wrapper will be recycled... unless you want the neighbors to come after you with a pitchfork.

Here's one we fell for. Terrapin Ridge Farms smokey onion mustard. Only because we one day dream of living in a place as lovely as "Terrapin Ridge Farms" sounds.